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Concerns

Concerns by Terrie M. Scott, November 16, 2012

Terrie M ScottFirst, may I just say how much I appreciate all the emails expressing concern for our well being. As many of you have already pointed out, I have been "off the grid" for much longer periods of time over the past few weeks. Even my personal Facebook page where I keep in touch with family, friends and conduct animal rescues have noticed my absence of late.

I am well aware of the emails you all send. I am also aware that they have gone unanswered. Please don't take offense by this.

Today was the first day in weeks, I even looked at the Sedamsville Rectory facebook page. I do try to respond to emails, but "hanging out" on the FB page is hard for me to do. Hanging out online period is difficult for me to do these days. I have withdrawn farther and farther away. 

I feel like Gollum from "Lord of the Rings" with his hands clasped over his ears chiming, "Not listening, not listening," as if it will somehow change circumstances or make everything bad go away.

I know the past few groups that have visited the Rectory can attest to my resignation to not even getting out of the car. I am not trying to be rude. There's just nothing about being at the Rectory that makes me want to engage in polite banter. If I could hide under the car seat? I would.

Ed and Marcy brought some beautiful things to decorate the Rectory during their recent visit. And, groups continue to donate cat food for the homeless animals of Sedamsville. For that I am very grateful.

I am not going to speak for Tim. He has a much thicker skin that I do. He has the ability to switch over and be personable when required. I, however, do not have that gift. I retreat like a scared rabbit.

So accept my sincere apologies for seeming distance and flat out avoiding you - - - it's nothing personal. It's not you. It's that place.

I do want to share an email I received last week from an investigator, with Dani's permission she writes:

"Ever since I left the rectory, I have found my emotions are fractured. Any moment I could be in a rage or in tears over absolutely nothing. I started writing it down and found it started right after the event there. It's weird, I could be in a room alone with nothing on and it just would hit me. Strange dreams come at night, so I do not sleep much. Especially now that my group is going there. Oddly the rage has subsided some, but the dreams are getting more intense as it gets closer. It has effected my group also..."

I told her that it feels like a curse to me.

She responded, "Curse would be a word I would use. I've never come across something like this, been to many locations and it not ever had an issue. And the more I want to stay away the more it seems to draw me back. I talked to a few people that went with us as they also feel the draw to return. Why? We had a quiet night, not too much out of the ordinary yet we all feel the urge to return. Maybe it feeds off of us in some way, and others like myself it stays with me. I'm not a weak person in any retrospect, nor was scared when I went in the first time. Yet it's like a part of me now, that what exists there breathes in my soul. Hard to explain but I can't seem to escape its pull on me, it's anger and images." (end quote)

Some places are like people. They never change.

And, for those paranormal investigators that continue to explore what lurks within the Rectory. I offer this word of caution.

Those who fight monsters should make damn sure they don't become one.

Be careful what you seek. You just might find it.

I sink deeper and deeper. I can't even address it here. I don't even feel like I walk in the same world anymore that I once belonged to. Some thing has followed me home.

Till next time.